In this issue we’ve chosen a topic for our cover story that’s seldom thought about: a nostalgic look into our community’s one of the richest, eloquent and grand gala of an event – Marriages!! Indian weddings are celebrated with great passion and people poses immense pleasure and pride in their respective rituals and cultures. Our nagarathar community is no different and we take lot of Nagarathars are often well-known for their food (which is obvious by the number of chettinad restaurants around us), architecture and their culture & traditions. We are proud to be part of a community that’s rich in traditions where the marriages are still an exhibit for our way of life. Every ritual/custom of a Nagarathar marriage has a deep rooted meaning. As with everything in life, the life-style, the process that leads up in combining two individuals in a wedlock have changed, but not the values and tradition. And, our Nanal team wanted to identify and bring out what has evolved/changed in our marriages.

As you all know each person in our Nagarathar community belongs to one of the Nine Temples and even the marriages in our community takes place between two individuals who belong to different temples. Of the few things that has never changed in a nagarathar marriage is the “Pen Parthal” and the “Pesi Mudithukolluthal” or Engagement. These are the first steps leading up to any nagarathar marriage. Achi.org defines the marriage rituals and the steps leading up to it in detail here: http://achi.org/wiki/nagarathar-marriage-rituals. Even though we might have lost a few rituals along the road, our community has retained all the phases/marriage rituals all along. The rituals/ceremonies include:

1. Pen Paarthal à This is the ceremony where the bride and groom meet each other for the first time along with their families. If both the bride and groom like each other and families accept the alliance, they exchange a “thamboolam” as agreement.
2. Pesi Mudithal (Nichiyathartham or Engagement) à after the alliance for the marriage gets fixed, both the families (of bride and groom) calls up on their astrologer’s and agree upon a date for the marriage. This ceremony usually happens in a temple or bride’s place with the presence of close relatives from both sides.
3. Muhurtha Kaal Uundruthal à This is the very first ritual/ceremony that happens before the marriage – which is the fitting of a Bamboo Cane with mango leaves on top at the back yards of both bride and groom’s ancestral house.
4. Pon Koduthal à On an auspicious day few days before the marriage, the groom’s family will send in a piece of gold to be included in the “Kaluthuru” or Thali to the bride’s house. This is usually carried out by an immediate family member of the groom and one of their pangali’s.
5. Veetu Padaippu / Podhu Padaippu (between Pangalis – cousins) à this is the ancestral puja done jointly by the family members at the house of their ancestors to seek blessings from them for the marriage of their son or daughter. This ritual is slowly becoming a “THEN” ceremony as the marriages these days tend to skip this process.
6. Manai Iduthal (Marriage stage) à In this ritual the elderly married achi’s will construct a brick platform (called as Manai) with the help of a mason, for the couples to sit during the wedding ceremony. Wooden seats are placed on this platform for the couple to sit and do the different rituals during the marriage.
7. Arasanikkaal Naduthal à Similar to the “Muhurtha Kaal” this is another bamboo cane is erected near the “Manai” to symbolize the presence of the king at the wedding as a witness. A bit of coral is placed and consecrated with milk and the bamboo pole is placed here. The coral symbolizes the traditional trade of Nagarathars and the milk, well-being. It is decorated with the leaves of various trees like the “Kiluvai” symbolizing growth, “Paalai” symbolizing healthy offspring, “Mango” for auspiciousness, “Peepul” for longevity and “Tharpai” grass.
8. Kovilil Solluthal (Registering the marriage at the local temple) à Three days before the wedding ceremony the familes of the bride and groom visit their respective temples to register the wedding. This entitles them to receive the temple garland and prasadham. Then the bridegroom is given the status of a “Pulli” or a full member of the kovil and his wife is also accepted as part of the kovil.
9. Maapillai Azhaippu (Welcoming the groom to the bride’s house) à The groom's family and relatives arrive at the village of the bride, hours before the Muhurtham, and stay at a community hall or in some ancestral temple, where the bride's father goes with a band to welcome the groom's side. The groom's side is not allowed to enter the bride's house before the Muhurtham.
10.   Kaappu kattuthal or Bagavanam à Before the groom arrives at the bride’s house, a ceremony called Kaappu Kattuthal takes place where the bride is made to sit on the manai and her maternal uncle ties a red cloth with a silver coin and a piece of turmeric on her right hand. This is considered as an appeal to god to bless the bride with a happy and prosperous married life.
11.   Poomanam Iduthal à After the Kappu Kattuthal the bride gets floral blessings from the elders in her family. In this ceremony the bride is blessed with flowers that are dipped in milk which also has sprouted grains for blessing the bride to have a big future generation.
12.   Saptapadi à This is the first ritual after the groom arrives at the bride’s place at the time of muhurtham. The Saptapadi or Seven-Steps around the fire is an important part of the wedding where the bride’s sari pally and the groom’s dhoti are tied in symbolic union and the couple walk around the sacred fire seven times while the pujari/priest chants the marriage rites.
13.   Pen Edukki Kaattuthal à After the groom reaches the bride''s house, she is brought outside to meet the groom. . This ritual is a “THEN” ceremony as the marriages these days tend to skip this process.
14.   Thiruppoottuthal (Tying the knot) à Thiruppottuthal is the actual ceremony where the groom ties the knot on the bride – this is the highlight event of the wedding. The bride is brought to the manai dressed in her bridal finery either by her maternal uncle or parental aunt. The kazhutthuru is blessed by the guests and relatives and brought to the manai, which the groom takes it and ties on groom’s neck where the sacred thread is knotted three times at the back of her neck. Once this is completed, he slips the smaller necklaces over her neck. Auspicious turmeric and kumkum are smeared over the thali and the knots. During the entire ceremony, the bride holds a bowl of raw rice with a coconut embedded in it. The nadaswaram plays throughout the ceremony and reaches its crescendo as the thaali is tied. 
15.   Vaevu Irakkuthal à In this ceremony which takes place in the bride’s place, the bride’s maternal uncle gives her a basket which is full of eggplant and rice, denoting that giving wealth in the form of food grains and vegetables to the bride. This is done repeatedly by various immediate family members of both bride and groom where each side of the basket is held by one member of each side and they carry it to the storage room.
16.   Maamiyaar Sadangu à In this ceremony the mother-in-law of the newly wed bride does this ritual with the new daughter-in-law by applying the turmeric soaked water using a betel leaf, which she applies to herself on the forehead first and then on the daughter-in-law. This is done as a blessing for the new addition to her family.
17.   Poo Manam Chorithal à In this ceremony, blessing from the elder male members of the family are taken by the bride and the groom, wherein the elders, bless the bride and groom with flower petals, by placing on their folded legs, shoulders and heads.
18.   Manjal Neeraaduthal à In this ceremony, the feet of the couple is washed by the turmeric paste, by their cousins.
19.   Saamaan Parapputhal à During this ceremony of the Nagarathar Marriages, the gifts to be given at the time of marriage from the both the sides of the groom as well as the bride are displayed in front of the relatives, to show their power in terms of wealth.
20.   Kumbittu Kattikolluthal à this is the ceremony, where the bride seeks blessing from all the elders of the bride and the groom''s family, by touching their feet. The blessings are to have a fertile future generation.
21.   Manappen Sollikkolluthal à This is the moment, when eyes of each and every member of the family is full with tears, where in the bride leaves her maternal house and heads towards a new life towards the house of her in-laws.
22.   Pen Azhaippu (Welcoming the bride to the groom’s house) à Similar to the “Mappillai Azhaippu”, this occasion signifies the formal welcome of the bride in her new house, by the groom's family. The couple, before being taken to the groom's house, is taken to a temple nearby, to seek blessing from the god, to start a happy and a blessed married life. 
23.   Isaivu Pidimanam Ezuthuthal à The Isaivu Pidimanam takes place after the marriage is completed. It is a formal registration of the marriage where the marriage agreement is signed by the fathers of the bride and the groom at the groom's house in the presence of the elders and relatives.
24.   Nandri Solluthal (Thanking the elders) à this is the conclusive event after the accounts are settled and the bride’s family leave the bride at her new home. Now, the Groom thanks all the relatives for making the wedding a memorable event.

     The NANAL team reached out one of the oldest married couples in our community and a recently married couple to analyze how things had been done and how it has been evolved over the years in this fast paced new era.

Another glaring contrast between the marriages now and then is with the technological advances the borders have shrunken so much that Mr. Palaniappan says that at the time of their marriage when there is no electricity and their only means of travel is via bullock carts between the villages. That was the main reason the Easter-day marriages were happening within the same village or next village within the same vattagai. Now, nagarathar marriages are common between very distant villages and not to mention between two different vattagai’s (we’ve to two vattagai’s – mela vattagai meaning the villages in the west/merkku, and keela vattagai meaning the villages in the east/kizhakku). As the transportation facilities have vastly improved all marriages now arrange buses/vans for transporting the relatives and the bride/grooms travel in decorated cars.

Mrs. Palaniappan adds that after the wedding, whenever the “Thiruvatharai” nakshathram (an auspicious day in the lunar calendar that comes each month) comes, she /bride’s family asked the groom to visit in a horse, so that everyone can look at their son in law.

Even though the rituals and ceremonies  didn’t change much the event itself has shrinked along with the boundaries. Few rituals have been modified to suit the new paradigms and way of life as in “Pen Edukki Kaatuthal” which in olden days was there to “lift up” the bride who would be less than 15 years old for the gathered relatives to see. As per Vimala and Battu, now this ceremony is changed to bride greeting the groom as both the individuals are now a grown-up matured adults. Mr. Palaniappan says that rituals like “Kanneerattuthal” (?) where a barber checks out the groom before the wedding for visible diseases and asking an older chettiar who has had a lengthy/happy married life to tie the knot of the bride during the muhurtham when the groom is very young are all now not practiced.

     Mr. Palaniappan says that after marriage they did live together with his family including his siblings’ families. But, the family units were actually individual. They each had a kitchen and daily life was governed by each family/couple. This was “Veravaikirathu”. That way, we get the benefits of a joint family, where the elders are present to guide and help. But also, the freedom of single family unit is present.

   The modern day couples are more independent and confident and they want to make it work within themselves, so the lack of multi-family structure doesn’t actually make a big difference in their lives.

Conclusion:

As with anything in life and change in time, our community has gained and lost few things in our marriages from then and now. The gains have really made the new generations stronger and more mature and the same benefits have sometime gone wrong as well. Nagarathars in this day and age are well educated, mature and want to settle in a good job before getting married and they want to make their own decisions. They hold off their weddings till they complete their education and finding their own feet and as Vimala puts it “at the age of 25 or 26 when you make the decisions, you think a lot from your parents perspective, from your point of view, you will be definitely responsible, and make a good decision. At that time, you will lead a more balanced life style, try to respect each other, understand the other person, and not be dominating the other sex. So that should be the way it is when you get married, and lead a good life.”

Back then, even though the women didn’t have much say in their marriages and didn’t have a quality education and got married at a very young age they relied more on their parents and relatives support in a multi-family structure. Its strongest value being “adjustment” – where the bride and groom were taught patience is virtue and doesn’t get fed up for small issues. Now, as bride and groom try to make their own living far from their family and relatives – their independence sometimes lead to wrong decisions since they didn’t have their families around to help them make their marriages work. Mrs. Palaniappan sums it up well as (see inset).

Apart from the glaring difference in the age of the bride and groom, nagarathar marriages have retained the core values and the colorful celebration of life and exhibited their traditions and way of life via their marriages and they will continue to do so for years to come.

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Sincere Thanks to: Mr. & Mrs. Palaniappan and Mr. Battu & Vimala for their precious time.