HOW INVOLVED YOUR GRANDPARENTS ARE IN YOUR LIFE

For the majority of Indian-American children in the United States, grandparents are our only ancestral link to the homeland of many, India. Our grandparents, having lived in India for most of their lives, are well educated about the culture, beauty, and history of their first home, India; therefore, making it imperative for our grandparent’s to be involved in our lives. The saying, “The older, the wiser!” is true, for our grandparents have experienced the world before us, and are willing to share their experiences with their grandchildren to help guide the next generation in a better direction.

My grandparents have dedicated most of their career and professional success to a small town in Illinois.  With Salem being a small town, there aren’t very many social events, so my grandparents come to St. Louis Missouri, where I live, for most of their social events. Although having them visit so often is great, that isn’t the best part about them coming. The best part about my grandparents visiting is that they treat every visit like it could be their last.  My grandparents spend quality time with me, show me that they care, and assure that I know they will be there for me 110% of the time.  

My grandfather grew up in the Chettinad village of Nachiapuram with two older brothers and a twin.  My grandfather’s father worked in Singapore most of the time, so my grandfather and his brothers had to be on their best behavior at all times for my great-grandmother. My grandfather always says to imagine a single mom raising four boys by herself in India. Whenever my grandfather teaches me a lesson he always relates it to a story from his childhood time, to show me ‘where there is a will there is a way’. My grandfather and my grandmother emigrated from India almost 40 years ago and started a happy family and a successful life. They tell me that I am lucky to have such a loving family and good friends.  When my grandparents came to America they had to develop friendships to establish a strong support system.  My grandfather tells me that if he could start a brand new life for a family of four from scratch, then I can do anything as long as I put my mind and all my effort into it.  My grandfather has always told me that there are two ways to live your life.  One way to live your life is to push yourself in the direction you want to go, or another way is to have somebody else push you in a direction that may not be the best path for your life.  He tells me that decision is up to me and that I need to make the choice and be focused to make sure that I push myself in the best direction possible. There was a quote from the Indian movie Three Idiots that my grandfather strongly believes in.  The quote is, “Make your passion your profession, and your profession your passion.” My grandparents did just that with their professions. The main thing in life my grandfather wants me to achieve is the quality of being a good human being and helpful to our society.  “Autograph your life with excellence”(anonymous) is exactly what my grandparents have done, and that is what I hope to do with my life.

My grandmother is also a very important influence in my life.  Since my grandmother and I share a love for cooking, she makes it a point to teach me a new recipe from her childhood every time I go to Salem. For me, just knowing she wants to spend an extra hour with me is enough to show me that she cares and wants to foster my interests. My grandmother came to this country as a young woman with a baby and a husband who had just finished medical school. She taught herself to be the best mother she can be and support her family.  Despite all the challenges life has thrown at her, she has taken the time to become a financially and economically knowledgeable woman. My grandmother says that taking time to learn these necessities was one of the best gifts she ever gave herself.  Education is the best gift you can ever give yourself!  If there was one thing my grandmother wants me to be in life, it is to be a person of good character.

In the summer of 2010 my grandmother offered me a trip so educating it was impossible to turn down.  She offered to take me with her to India for the whole summer.  She showed me all parts of India from the slums to the traditional mansions.  She taught me the ways of our ancestors, and showed me things our ancestors grew up with that made me so grateful for what I have here in America.  That was truly an experience of a lifetime and to be there with my grandparents made it even better.

When I was a young girl, my grandfather started a club with me, The Help People Club.  He started this club in order to teach me how giving up a little of what I have can help other people a lot.  Every year during Deepavali our family gives money and clothes to families who are in need in India, and every year when we get an appreciation letter it makes me feel better than buying something frivolous with that money.

I am very grateful that my grandparents live in the same country as me, since I get to see them more often than my parents’ generation and even some grandchildren today.  As you can see it is imperative that our grandparents remain a part of our lives, for they teach us by sharing their previous experiences, spending time with us to show they care, and teaching us life-long lessons.